Some children are very open and it is easy for them to talk about themselves and things that make them happy or worried. Other prefer to keep to themselves which often ends up in accumulating things inside. They could just be unwilling to share with others, even if that includes their parents. But it could also be that they are afraid of negative reactions or simply don’t know how to start.
Whether your child is an extrovert or not, it is very likely that you won't find out about every single problem from kindergarten or school. The reasons children hide things from their parents may be that they are afraid of parents' reaction, they think they bother parents with their problems or they feel parents wouldn't care. Also, they may simply be ashamed of their mistake.
There are various ways to reach children to find out if there is something that bothers them or to ask them how they feel.
To make your child feel relaxed, suggest playing together. You can make some figurines from basic or waste material. This kind of activity opens up a lot of space for conversation. Let your child choose the figurine motif: animal, tree, flower or something similar. While you’re making the figurine, create a pleasant atmosphere and start a casual conversation, in order for your child to trust you and confide in you. Identify with the figurine you’re making – give it a character, traits and feelings. Talk to your child about it.
It is very useful to act out the situation to create the conditions for the conversation. You’ll see that your child will be encouraged to talk. When you find out about the problem, you can start finding the solution together, one again with the help of the characters that you’re making.
Every problem is much easier to solve if you talk about it, and you can only talk about it if you establish the atmosphere of mutual trust and understanding.
This kind of activity is very useful not only when it comes to opening up and solving problems, but also for creating a stronger bond between parents and children.